Sunday, August 30, 2015
Five Types of Singles:
I have always believed that if we understand who we are, we can grow and become better individuals. With that, I ask: “What type of Single are You?”
The Curmudgeon Single: This type may be single, divorced or widowed. Key traits: cranky, negative, grouchy…in some ways even unlovable. There may be a sense of desire for another completely “out of their league” which exaggerates their bad attitude…as they are never satisfied. Likelihood of resuming a relationship…slim to none. Open to change…minimal. This male or female may have been cheated on or took large financial hit in life and never recovered. This person can be helped with some therapy or a complete change of attitude. However, a “revolution” becomes less likely with age. If this is you, get moving while you “still got it”.
The HopeFULL Romantic: Luckily “most” of the people meet in my office are this type. This male or female has felt love more then once. They have also felt heart ache..but they continue to love again…and they almost always do! WHY? Because they believe in love AND they know they are lovable. This person knows the benefits of love will ALWAYS outweigh the risks. Single, divorced, or widowed of ALL AGES…this person has a high success rate and the odds are in their favor. This person can be alone, but their ultimate desire is to find a special person to share their life.
The Lucy Goosey: Typically female. Often found in bars or online dating sites is rather desperate to find love. Most divorced or never married….25 to 55. This woman jumps from man to man rapidly. She confuses physical aspects of intimacy with love and commitment and is often left with feelings of rejection, insecurity, and often jealousy…because she is rarely…if ever…the “chosen one”. She will date almost “anyone” who pays attention to her.
The Even Steven: He is total mess. Commonly divorced or never married. Age 25 to 65. He is the male counterpart of Lucy Goosey. He wants love and intimacy but can’t seem to shake his past failures. This man blames women for all his failings, and suffers from great insecurity in and out of the bedroom. He may also over-compensate for his weakness by seeking multiple notches in his head board…to get “EVEN” with the opposite sex…trying to desperately make himself “whole” again. He is rarely successful and noncommittal when all is said and done. Most men like this prey in bars and online.
The Past Life Blessed: Widow or widower of any age, although typically age 60 to 80+. This male or female had a special marriage. Has grieved appropriately and is now “ready to find new companionship.” However, they are comparing everyone they date to their late husband or wife. I have seen many widows and widowers find love again in my club…and that if they can’t seem to shake the past…perhaps a few therapy sessions may help? My hats are off to those who have found the key to happy marriage…and I know…as with the “HOPEFULL ROMANTICS” that there can be a chapter after a death of spouse. The generation of seniors today given the right circumstances and opportunity…can really have a ball. I see it all the time!
So, if you like what you read today, remember “the world is in your hands”…and happiness is a choice! Choose love. The opposite of love is fear…and nothing can be more clear then the power of love. A 59 year old male divorcee client told me recently: “Kelly, joining this club has changed my life and meeting ‘Danielle’ was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think this is the first time I have ever been in love.”This news from this incredible man of substance(an Ivy League MBA) gave me even more clarity. My journey is just. My path is to help and share love. What is yours? How do you want to spend the next 10…20…31 years? When are YOU to get out of your own way? (I do hope you are listening.)