By: Kelly Leary, M.S., Founder of Revolution Dating
“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.~~Benjamin Franklin
Summer is a great season for budding romance and commitments that stick for years to come. This July, we want you to leave your comfort zone and enjoy dating again. It is possible. Most of all, don’t let FIRST DATE PHOBIA freeze you up. We are here to help you over the hump. We want you on that first date, second date, third date–and ultimately TAKEN.
When you do find someone interested in you and vice versa, please follow these simple steps to land a second date. It’s easy to forget “first date etiquette” after a long time-out (either due to the pandemic, a break-up or loss of spouse). It doesn’t matter what your age is–just get out there again and enjoy the romance that is bound to follow with these simple steps!
1. You like each other. So, make that date right away! Don’t drag out the first date commitment with too many phone calls and time delays. You will seem fearful or disinterested. Once made, be on time and don’t cancel or reschedule. This is not a good way to start a first date. You don’t want to start your date with an apology.
2. Your appearance is important. Dress to impress – for your first date it’s far better to be overdressed rather than underdressed. Remember we are putting our best foot forward. Moreover, make sure your inner glow shines too!
3. Practice Kindness. The biggest turnoff is a person who walks into a date, room, or party – with a negative attitude. It is imperative that we all practice kindness in life, love, work, and play – single or not. Speak positive words. Eliminate ANY preconceived notions and ideas you may have about your date. Be open minded.
4. Play It Cool. Don’t go overboard on the compliments, it’s hard to be attracted to a person who is practically drooling over you. Perhaps that seems strange, and in a way it is flattering, but it makes you come across as too pushy. Don’t over do it and don’t under do it!
5. While on the date: No Texting. No exceptions. Leave your phone in the car if you can.
6. Be Real. A first date is about being real and authentic. No wacky outfits. No “over the top” jewelry or makeup. No dirty jokes. Mind your manners and be nice to the wait staff! Be polite to those around and speak highly on life whenever possible…especially on a first date. Don’t take over the conversation. There will be time to share your story but wait…ok?
7. Ask Questions on your date and listen. What’s your date’s favorite topic of conversation? We all love to feel important and interesting. If you can make your date feel these things, chances are he/she will be more attracted to you. It’s human nature.
8. Let Your Date Know You’re Having a Good Time! If you’re having a good time, let it show. Smile. Laugh. A well placed, “I’m having a great time” is good. We all want to be with people that we can make happy. Let him/her know and thank them for it too. This eliminates guessing games!
9. Be Passionate. When your date asks you about yourself be passionate about the information you choose to share. Be decisive in your answers, and don’t wallow back and forth. However, avoid talking too much about yourself and don’t bring up past relationships…for as long as humanly possible.
10. Keep It Light and Be Positive. Also, please eliminate ALL talk of medical conditions, politics, and religious ideas. Talk about your travels, your hobbies, your favorite books or ANYTHING ELSE THAT IS LIGHT AND FUN. Don’t be so serious; very few people want to sit through a detailed explanation of your difficulties at this stage.
11. Conduct Yourself With Dignity. When you find yourself attracted to a person, sometimes you can get carried away. If you want to talk for six hours, go for it. If you want to share another bottle of wine do it…but otherwise be aware that a first date is “a thing”. It’s a time to be the best version of you. Don’t screw it up.
12. Watch What You Say in Cyberspace. You’d be surprised how transparent social media can be. So if you decided to document your date on Facebook, it can be pretty easy for your date to find that post. Most importantly, this person may not want to be with someone who posts every thought on social media.
#GetDatingAgain #LoveLocal #LoveOffline #LoveIRL #SummerLove22 #TellYourFriends
Kelly Leary© has 31 years in the dating industry and a Master’s Degree in Psychology. She’s been profiled by The Palm Beach Post, PalmBeacher Magazine, Stuart News, etc. Revolution Dating members are pre-screened including background checks. Professional photos are taken by the staff. Revolution Dating is not online dating or blind dating. In addition to providing matchmaking services that make singles “UN-single” through their exclusive club membership, Kelly also provides feedback from your dates when appropriate. All inquiries are confidential.