By Kelly Leary, M.S., THE Florida Matchmaker, est. 1991
“A life without love is like a year without summer.”~~Anonymous
Happy 4th of July to all of our clients, couples and friends. Isn’t it great to feel liberated after 16 plus months of all an around socially restrictive dating dilemma? How do you distance and date at the same time, right? Unlike many would think, we started seeing clients and matching again last summer around June of 2020. Since then, the pool of new men and women joining has been really interesting. It’s been fun to witness. Professional men and women of ALL ages (and I mean 25 to 85) have been calling us after being frozen on the fence in limbo. People are taking action and taking back control of their social love life after it was threatened. The pandemic vibe taught us not to take anything for granted…and to set the stakes high on living your best life.
Many couples broke up during COVID–leaving a lot of you to fly free. So now that you are FREE (single) how do you feel about it? I would bet that being single is not your end game. So what do you do? You get smart for one thing. Let the current dating tsunami take over your heart in a good way. Don’t fret about the worries of dating again. Just get smarter, get up to date (no pun). Realize long term relationships are back in style. Old school ways of dating have re-emerged in a refreshing manner. People are getting to know each other better before diving in feet first. This has allowed the process to change from falling in love to forever love.
If you desire to have forever love again, you can. Period. You do have to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable. There is no way around it. There are no dating hacks (other than hiring a matchmaker). There is no insurance policy on love per se. You can, however, date smart and date local while positioning yourself to meet authentic people via private introduction from an educated pro. This is always your best bet. If you go online or use social media as your source, be aware of some of the bumps you could encounter along the way. If you get frustrated, make a change for the better and don’t get bitter, like many people who play or stay online dating too long. It can affect you if you do which is why we are giving you this Dating 101 education to avoid. This is essentially how to stay safe emotionally, fiscally, and physically. Knowledge is power, friends.
Common Dating Risks:
Micro-Cheating: Inappropriate flirting or contact with another that lacks physical touch. It goes beyond emotional infidelity, in that this usually occurs on an electronic device in one way or another. How do you know if you have crossed the line? If you are doing anything you would not want your partner to know about (when it comes to dating or flirting) like texting inappropriately, sending photos or sharing intimate feelings with anyone other than your “exclusive” partner, then you are micro-cheating.
Love Bombing: The flame that burns too fast dies quickly. You feel someone fell madly in love with you but they have never met you or you met out of convenience. In this case, you definitely should think twice. Why is he or she falling so fast? Could they be trying to get over a former heartache using you as their rebound distraction? Make sure their love history is CLEAN before you LEAN.
Catfishing: When a person lures someone into a relationship by pretending to be someone else online or has greatly altered their appearance. Catfishes often steal photos from strangers’ profiles, and sometimes even create multiple personas to make their stories more believable. They will try to continue a “fake” relationship for months–always avoiding a face-to-face meeting. This happens ALL the time.
Ghosting: When someone you’ve been seeing vanishes without a trace. You could have been dating a few days, or months, but one day they simply disappear. They don’t return your texts, and may even block you to avoid having the break-up conversation with you. It’s cowardly, but sadly common, especially with a vast array of dating apps at our fingertips. It’s too easy to jump ship if you are dating an online addict (Facebook or any dating site).
Zombie-ing: If you’ve been ghosted, the culprit may resurface. It’s usually a decent amount of time after they disappeared, and they often act like nothing happened, like a revived corpse.
Nexting: With all the apps at our fingertips and singles finding it so easy to communicate via a smartphone, anyone can be anyone. False confidence abounds and many just feel they can jump to the next in an instant…and guess what? They can. This is a weak testimony to a real man or woman who is looking to date sincerely as a romantic goal. If you feel you are in this trap, get out quickly.
Stashing: When the person you’re dating doesn’t introduce you to their friends or family and doesn’t post anything about YOU on social media. Basically, you’re their secret boyfriend or girlfriend, while they feel justified in “stashing” you on the shelf, pretending nothing is going on to the outside world, and keeping their options open. If they proclaim you as their romantic interest, they will have to give up their search.
Benching: Before you have “the talk” with your new partner about whether you are in an exclusive relationship, you are at risk of being “benched.” Like the sports term, where players are left on the bench as reserves, you might find yourself being someone’s back-up option as they continue to look around. They may come back to you if nobody better comes along, but that doesn’t give one high hopes for the relationship, does it?
If you or someone you know has resisted dating because of all or some of the above, I don’t blame you. Don’t think of what you have to lose today, think of what you have to gain and avoid anyone and any person who seems to be online too much. This is where many dating problems begin and end. I advise you to get real. Live IRL (in real life). Love offline FOR SURE. Be confident, smart, and carry on my friend! It’s time you start dating again. You got this–and so do we! Every pot has a lid. Dating can be fun you know…let’s play and see what happens! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Stop overthinking and make your move while the dating pool is HOT! This July we have some exclusive specials that will only be available to my loyal readers and their friends. Share the love and pass it on!
Wishing you so much love and happiness this July. The clouds have parted. There is nothing but green pastures ahead for you.
#ChristmasInJulySpecials #ShareYourLove #30YearsInTheBiz #MakeYourFreedomFun #TellYourFriends
Kelly Leary, Founder of Revolution Dating has a master’s degree in psychology and 30 successful years in the dating industry. A top matchmaker, now known as THE Florida Matchmaker, she has been profiled by ABC News, The Palm Beach Post, PalmBeacher Magazine, The South Florida Business Journal, and numerous other media outlets. Please call our hotlines seven days a week at 561-630-XOXO (9696) in the Palm Beaches and South Florida area or 772-932-HERE (4373) on the Treasure Coast. You may also visit our informational only website at www.revolutiondating.com. All inquiries are confidential. All applicants must be prescreened in person at our private practice to be eligible. This is NOT online dating.