Pearls of Wisdom from THE Award-Winning Matchmaker
By Kelly Leary, M.S., Founder of Revolution Dating
Practice kindness. There is nothing that’s a bigger turnoff than when a person comes into the gate – or a date, or a room, or a party – with a bad attitude. If you don’t practice kindness in life, love, work and play, you will reap what you sow.
First impressions matter. I’ve learned that your impression of a person is usually formed in the first 60 seconds! So make sure that your “hello” is a good one.
Love over 65 is easier than you think! I am not even intimidated by aging anymore, as I watch my clients have fun well into their 80s. Age is just a number and romance happens at all ages. I see it every day.
Don’t delay real romance in your 30s. Don’t wait until you’re 37 or 38 to get serious about your search for a life-long partner. Women shouldn’t do this for obvious reasons, but men shouldn’t either. When men wait too long to start the process, I have noticed they become too picky, jaded, and can be labeled negatively.
Love begets love. We have a rule in our office: “Only Love is Spoken Here!” Go on a date with this in mind and I guarantee you will probably get a second one!
You can buy love (sort of). Dates, dinners, gifts, cards, flowers, vacations, rings, weddings…there is no avoiding the “cost” of dating. A man may splurge for the first few dates, and a woman may get her hair done and buy a few new outfits and a new shade of lipstick. If you don’t invest, you won’t progress.
T.M.E. Facts: Dating is an investment of Time, Money, and Emotion. Any date is an investment of all three. With our pre-screening of members, relationships move along quicker and tend to be a better investment of TME at Revolution Dating.
Inner beauty trumps exterior beauty every day of the week. Looks don’t mean a thing when it comes to success in date-land. Exterior beauty might get you in the door, but can you get a second date? Inner beauty rules.
Believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will…including your date!
If you are striking out, look in the mirror and soul search. Are you doing everything you can to find love? Or are you expecting your matchmaker to deliver love to your doorstep like a pizza? Matchmaking is a collaboration. Connect, bond, show your good side, listen to feedback, give feedback, cooperate and be open to advice. If you go to your doctor and don’t listen to one word of his advice, fail to take your medicine, and remain sick, is it your doctor’s fault? No.
Don’t be too picky. I have a female client who won’t date a man under 6’4″, literally. He has to be a tri-athlete, has a high net worth, and must have blue eyes! If your criteria are this strict, be prepared to wait quite a bit longer than someone who is more open-minded. High standards are fine, as long as you know that the other person has to like YOU back! Be realistic and self-aware. (Example: avoid requesting a Blake Shelton look alike if you are not a Gwen Stefani look-alike–this has actually happened to me.)
Men bear the brunt of dating. So ladies, don’t abuse this and use them for a free meal! Always be courteous and say thank you!
Online dating is a risky roll of the dice. You could lose your time, money, and soul (T.M.E.) in the same way people lose themselves in Las Vegas! Stay too long, and you may never come back.
Always maintain an attitude of gratitude. This applies to your love life and far beyond.
80/20. If your relationship/date is 80% good and 20% questionable, give it the green light and continue. Otherwise, it’s time to do some serious soul searching. Is this the right fit for you?
50:50. This is about talking, not paying the tab! While dating, keep an eye on your conversation and your listening skills. Take turns. Your conversation should be shared equally. If someone is doing 90% of the talking, there is a problem.
When you break up, do it with class. Don’t break up through an email or text. Be forthright but humble.
Grieving is tough, and everyone has their own timeline. You will know when you are ready to get back in the game. In this day and age, seniors are dating after the loss of a spouse, and they are finding love again. But always avoid comparisons. You are looking for someone new who will be a good companion in the here and now.
Cowards never start, winners never quit, and quitters never win. Don’t ever quit on love. Remember, fear is the opposite of love.
Join a love movement just for YOU. Stand up for something that you want in your life moving forward. Be part of your own solution, not your own problem. Get out of your own way, in other words, when it comes to romance.
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. This rings true in and out of my club.
CONNECT. CONNECT. CONNECT. People who have good relationships and friendships of any form are the happiest people alive. Togetherness is happiness.
Dating is a journey. This rings true even after we find you the right one. There will be highs and there will be lows. Learn from these experiences. Grow with your partner.
Thank you so much for “Following the Matchmaker” for three decades! WOW! We are celebrating 31 years in the biz and hope to meet you soon too! Our schedule is filling up quickly so don’t hesitate to take the plunge. Your timing is PERFECT!
I hope you join us on our mission to LOVE AFTER LOCKDOWN. There is no better time in history to begin. Celebrations abound and we are expanding by leaps and bounds in the coming months! Beat the rush and register today!
Much Love & Gratitude,
Kelly Leary© has 31 years in the dating industry and a Master’s Degree in Psychology. She’s been profiled by ABC News, The Palm Beach Post, PalmBeacher Magazine, and other nationwide publications. All Revolution Dating clients are prescreened in person in their private offices. Professional photos are taken by the staff. Revolution Dating is not online dating or blind dating. In addition to providing matchmaking services that make singles “UN-single” through their exclusive membership. Each membership is custom made to suit you and your needs. For more information, please call 561-630-XOXO (9696) or 772-932-HERE (4373) or visit www.revolutiondating.com . *All inquiries are confidential. *Representing Ages 21 to 81.